I've seen people do this before, so here's the idea. For the next, I'm going to say 100 days, I'm going to take a picture of myself expressing how I am feeling. I'll post it on here.
And that's what this blog will be for the next 100 days, can you handle that? Get ready for day one.
I feel pretty terrible. It hurts me the most when you have that moment in time, where you grown apart from someone so much, that the hand shake you put hours into making, is forgotten. And then, all the things they said they would never do, they are.
I don't understand why I get hurt by friends so simply. What am I doing wrong?
I'm really glad things are ending up the way you wanted and the way I know will bring you heart ache in the end. I also hope that when the ending moment comes and you're crushed and I'm still here, you'll understand the full sarcasm that goes along with my respond "You poor child."
Today is Valentine's Day and I do not like it. In a weird way, I wish I had a valentine so I could say I have one, but it another way, I just want to be with lots of people tonight and not think about the fact I do not have a valentine. I got to think about what I was thinking this time last year and boy, I wasted so much time. I'm not going even to go into that, but long story short, I spent way too much time liking a guy who would end up making me regret it.
So Happy Valentine's Day! I hope your day is filled with love.
Since tomorrow is Valentine's Day, I decided to compile together some of my favorite love songs, and movie quotes and post them for all to see. No, I do not have a valentine, just saying-but this seemed like a good thing to do when one has free time.
Songs-
Angels & Airwaves- Breathe Red Jumpsuit Apparatus-Your Guardian Angel Aiden- Moment Beyonce`-Halo A Fine Frenzy- Almost Lover & Think of You Jason Mraz and Colbie Calliat- Lucky Tenth Avenue North(*which in actually isn't a love song, but a religious song)- By Your Side A Rocket to the Moon- On a lonely night Thunder- Boys like Girls Owl City- The Saltwater Room Jermaine Paul- Eyes Like Brazil Lady Antebellum-Need You Know Sara Barellies- City Jonas Brothers- Can't have You Boys like Girls & Taylor Swift- Two is better than one Jason Wade- You belong to me Colbie Calliet-Realize The Maine-Into Your Arms (OKAY.THERE ARE ALOT MORE, BUT I NEED TO STOP WITH SONGS...)
Movie Quotes-
"Summer romances end for all kinds of reasons. But when all is said and done, they have one thing in common: They are shooting stars-a spectacular moment of light in the heavens, a fleeting glimpse of eternity. And in a flash, they're gone."- The Notebook
“Death can not stop true love, it can only delay it for a little while.” -The Princess Bride
"If you love someone you say it, you say it right then, out loud. Otherwise the moment just… passes you by…" -My Best Friend’s Wedding
"Life is not the amount of breaths you make, it’s the moments that take your breath away."-Hitch
"You have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love and love and love you."- Pride and Prejudice
“I would rather share one lifetime with you than face all the ages of this world alone.”- Lord of the Rings
“Perhaps it is good to have a beautiful mind, but an even greater gift is to discover a beautiful heart.”- A Beautiful Mind
I'm sorry, I really try to be a good blogger, I'm just not very good at it. I constantly get distracted by other things, but I have been inspired to try again- thanks to the wonderful blog of notebookdoodles! I discovered it after reading a friend's blog and just love it. So, I'm going to start being a good blogger. I'm not making any promises though because, I'd hate to disappoint anyone. Then again, seeing as I do only have ONE follower...but, I do not want to disappoint that one follower. Just a side note: If you read my blog, do you mind following me? If you are a fellow blogger, you understand the great joy it is when you see you have a new follower. I'll try my best to make my blog as interesting as possible, really I will. I'm even "revamping" it to attract people...that sounds a little odd, I'll admit. Also, I'm starting a 30 day one-month to live challenge, so starting tomorrow I'm going to be posting the new, exciting things I'm doing because I am living as if my days are numbered.
*Sigh*- Have you heard of formspring? I have. In fact, I've heard so much of it that I have one. I'm finding it to be not anything special and the reason for that is I've found myself being a little disappointed when I don't have any questions...isn't that terrible!? Okay, I'm now going to finish redoing my blog, go eat my Daddy's "johnny cake" (a.k.a. A HUGE HUSH PUPPY!), do homework, then play clarinet.
OH! And I'll take pictures of these things for your enjoyment! (:
I feel weird. From yesterday to today, I've had this empty feeling inside. I have no clue what it is, it's just...blah. I really cannot pin point it. I don't feel sad but at the same time, I don't feel happy either. For once in my life, I actually feel no emotions. Okay, that's a lie, I currently feel-dazed and somewhat confuzzled. This is just weird. I'm just empty and feel like I should be feeling something but I'm not. Maybe I'm just tired...
The past two nights I've had a terrible night's sleep. Another thing which I do not understand why. To start off, I cannot fall asleep to begin with. Then, I fall asleep for little over and hour and then I wake up and once again cannot fall back to sleep. So, yes, I feel very tired.
I'm starting to think that this unemotional, empty feeling is caused by my lack of sleep...
YEAH. let's go with that.
Until I have emotional fulfillment, Bethany.
p.s.I left the 'joy' out of my name for today because of my lack of emotion.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
JUST SAYING... I MADE THE RIGHT DECISION GOING TO CONVENTION RATHER THAN THE MUSIC MAN...BECAUSE WE LIVE IN A SCREWED UP WORLD MY FRIEND....
Times like these, I really dislike teachers who plan WAY ahead...As you already know, I tried out for music man, after much negotiating and confusion in my head, well apparently the premiere for the music man is during German Convention-which I was planning on going to.
So, all today I had to decide which I was going to do... the musical? or convention?... After much contemplating and talking I decided to follow my heart and go with convention. For those of you who do not know what this "german convention" is, this is for you: This event is held at Florida's, Daytona Beach. It last three(?) days and is super great[so I've heard]. You go to this competition, I guess you could call it, and compete in two areas. I chose reading and poetry. It costs 165$, I know a little pricey, but apparently it is totally worth it. So I've decided to take part in this and that is my final decision. All I have to do now is tell Mrs. Orr/ Mrs. Pringle that I have already committed to German Convention and cannot take part in the musical...I only tried out to be an extra, so I hope they took me literally when I said "I just want to be an extra"... if not, that's not my problem!
Whew! On a little side note- I started my healthy eating/working out plan today, it went very well. Now I just have to continue this...did I mention convention was at Daytona BEACHHHHH?! Yes, I chose the right time to get in shape so I'll look smashing in a bathing suit, lol.
Well, I've satisfied my blogger needs for the night.
Until Tomorrow( yes tomorrow, as in the day after today!)
NOT THIS TIME! :) I needed to take a break from blogger for a few days because I was far too busy and exhausted. So just an overview-
Wed.- I was suppose to have my auditions at 5:30, but then I went to the drama room after school to double check my time, I wasn't going to go till 5:45 or later. Then, Mrs. Orr told me that I could go Thursday at four. So I decided that would be best.
Thrus.- MY AUDITION! Okay, I was so nervous. I could barely sleep or eat, even focus that entire day. I went at about 4:15. It went by so fast, or at least felt like it. The cold read wasn't that great, but I feel fairly confident about my song.
I don't have that much to say besides that. I found out Wednesday the full cast list, hopefully I'm included!
...but I'm trying out for Music Man tomorrow at 5:30 PM...!
This is the only time in my life do I hope that I will break a leg. This is all I can say because I have homework.
I feel like a nervous wreck-at this very moment there are two sides of Bethany being revealed. The first side- the dramatic, outspoken, Carpe Diem part of me! On the other hand- the side which is insecure and has no confidence what-so-ever. You might be wondering why I feel this way, and here's why. My school is going to be producing the musical "The Music Man" and boy, am I nervous! I can sing, I can act, and I can dance farely well, also-I'm a fast learner. The problem is I feel extremely nervous about getting up on stage and singing and dancing. I just have this inner fear that I will begin my audition and totally bomb it. So, I'm faced with the most important question there is- place it safe or take a risk? I could just let this great opportunity pass me by and yet again be a supporting member of the audience with opening night comes along,OR, I could audition giving myself to break through my shell and enjoy a great learning experience, whether or not I make it.
I know what you're thinking, why NOT try out? What is it going to hurt? You make it or you don't. The way I'm looking at it, auditioning can be seen this way. You know that thing you've always wanted to do- one guilty pleasure- but the only reason you've never done it is because of that gut feeling that you could be A)making a fool of yourself or B) committing a HUGE mistake! Then however, you see the people who did that one desire you wanted to do and all they reply about it is positive and zealous responses.
So now, I don't know what to do! It seems like a silly thing to stress over, I KNOW, I KNOW...but I'm just worried I'm making a huge mistake. That mistake could be not auditioning and letting it pass, or LETTING IT PASS and missing out on a great oppurtunity.
My sister who graduated years and years ago is telling me to do it. She tells me to go ahead and do it because when she was in school she never tried out and regrets it.
I'm beginning to lean more and more to the idea of just auditioning and trying my best. I will never know what will happen till it actually happens. So I just need to hope and try my best I suppose.
Any Comments? Questions? Suggestions?
Don't feel shy at all! I would be extremely grateful if to get responeses BEFORE I go and sign up for a time slot tomorrow...
This is not my first time on blogger, but I do feel I owe anyone who did not "attempt" to follow my previous blog an introduction (By attempt, I mean read the one or two blogs I would write maybe every three or four months). So this blog is my new beginning. I've seen from other authors(?) what a world of difference having a blog can make-and it's also 2010 I need to try something ;)
So Hello, I am who I am, but I go by Bethany. I prefer the name Bethany Joy because I think just plain Bethany is so unappealing. I'm at the age of discovery and changes, I won't be revealing my age to you but I'm almost positive you'll figure it out with time, ALSO- this is the internet, can't be too risky on who or who is not reading your blog. I like to sing, but I'm not very confident with my voice so I don't tend to do it publicly, by public I'm referring to people other than my family and my VERY close friends. I play clarinet in the concert season, for all of you who don't know when that is it starts in January and lasts till May depending on your circumstance or situation..blah,blah.., then when marching season comes along I play mellophone *if you don't know what it is look it up*
I would describe myself as passionate, but that has its positive and negative side affects. I am people person, I love being with people and I love making new friends, while still treasuring old ones. My family is very important to me and unlike most families in America today, we are extremely close. Just a fun fact, according to studies, the American parent on average spends three minutes a week total having a 'heart-to-heart' conversation with their child?! My sister and I laughed when our mom told us that and then I replied " There are only three minutes a week that we're not talking!"
There are times when I wish I lived somewhere else, the town I live in is small and does not have that much to do, just to give you an idea, when the weather man mentions my town's name on the forecast I tell everyone in my house haha. When I think about where I wish I could live, well, I'm torn really. I love North Carolina- the downtown areas, the creeks, the mountains, IT'S AMAZING! On the opposite, I'm a city girl. I was with my family coming back from an event in Orlando and we passed by the city, it was at night so of course, I was fascinated by the lights and the excitement. So this places me stuck where I am until I can decide which I love more. I suppose you could say this reflects my personality. I can be laid back and go with the flow, but then I also enjoy the whole idea of living in a city with all its bells and whistles. Yeah, so I'm a little bipolar?
So, that sums up me for now, just a little taste. Hopefully you like what you read and will continue on reading!
